Thursday, April 19, 2007

insomnia and its dulliing effects

Haven't been able to sleep, but I desperately need it. Too late to take something tonight.

I think sometimes I don't sleep because not sleeping much dulls the world enough that I don't have to deal with the hard questions. Like why am I here and what am I supposed to be doing, anyway?

2 comments:

Orthoclase said...

I have the opposite problem.

Most nights, I waste 6-8 hours sleeping.

That is 25-33% of my day totally lost.

Think of how many books I could read if I did not spend all that time sleeping.

Think of how much I could improve my chess game.

Mark said...

Thinking about those big questions is good. Don't be distressed by it. You have a long time ahead of you to uncover answers -- nobody ever gets them all straight, especially at a young age.

And don't be too sure about what you presently think is best for you, or wrong in your life. I can tell you with certainty that what you may be sure of today, you will look back on in the future and think, wow, I was quite wrong about that.

I have found the middle of the night to be a time where "thoughts" come too. Some people say it is God whispering to you during the only time your attention isn't elsewhere.

That could be, I am thinking about that lately.

One thing I am sure of -- there is trememdous value ahead for you, both in what you will accomplish, but also what positive impact you will have in the lives of others.

Be patient though. As a runner, you understand life is a marathon not a sprint.

I have learned much since turning 50, and I recall having many of your thoughts 10 years ago. Every night.

And, I still get them. Maybe we can share some whispering stories this summer.